In high school there was this substitute bus driver who only seemed to know how to drive with the 'pump the gas' method. Wherein he would floor the gas pedal for for 2 seconds, then let off completely, then floor it again, then let off. Same came with braking to a stop. Pump the brakes until we stopped....pump the gas until we go. It was like he was doing gym exercises with his feet alternating on the gas and brake.
As you can imagine, this start-stop-repeat motion, made the students on the bus look like waves on a shore, launching forward, and then back, forward and back, forward and back. The motion sickness was always evident and by the 10 minute mark of our 45 minute drive to school, my forehead would be forcibly pressed to the seat in front of me, cheek firmly pressed against the cool window, eyes shut, willing the agony to end.
Luckily, this was only once in a blue moon, but those few times when I'd see the bus approaching with this man at the wheel, my stomach would instantly regret breakfast and I'd have to resist the temptation to jump into the nearest bush.
I'd long forgotten this feeling until recently, upon looking at my schedule. I've noticed my life seems to be running a pattern lately where everything will be due at once and everyone needs something from me that very minute, to absolute emptiness and exhaustion. Everything is either too much or too little and it switches on a dime. I feel like I'm either out of breath from trying to keep up, or have the wind knocked out of me when there's a moment to pause.
I feel like I'm on a bus called Life and that substitute driver is the one behind the wheel while I am a lowly commuter. The bus accelerates too fast, causing my heart to race as I'm pressed into the back of my seat by the G-force of deadlines, and then suddenly am lurching forward before I'm ready on a forced exhale. Back and forth I go trying to predict the motion of these waves and not quite getting comfortable in the rhythm.
I'm feeling sea sick, I want off this bus to one that is set to consistent cruise control.
