Time and time again this month, I felt there were three themes that kept popping up for me in a variety of situations: Reconnection, reflection, & rebuilding.
Whether by coincidence or fate or whathave you, in the last 28 days I found
myself reconnecting with friends and loved ones whom I’ve lost touch with,
have grown apart from, or simply just missed chances of contacting. In recent
years I have built a loving supportive community around myself, but find it
hard keeping up with more than a few people at a time. I now consider myself
extremely lucky and fortunate that – by one means or another – people from my
past have stumbled across my path again, each as new people. I’ve grown as a
person and so have they, but that offers new opportunities to learn and grow. We've matured and in understanding ourselves better now are able to talk openly with one another. These relationships are not just recycling past versions of
ourselves, but discovering who we are today. It has felt healthy to reconnect
with my past without feeling like I’m reverting back to someone I no longer am.
Regardless, this time of year gets me nostalgic due to my
involvement in the Annual International Women’s Day Art Show. After being a
member of the committee for the last 4 years, I’ve reached a rhythm and camaraderie
with the artists who enter in the show. There is always an adrenaline rush of
energy during our week of installation for the exhibit, but the lack-of-sleep
is always so rewarding when you see every artist’s reaction during the opening
reception. Though the means are the same every year, there is no way to predict
reactions. This year’s theme for the show is “eye to eye” which I found brought me back to
the basics in finding personal connection with others, and seeing myself
reflected in them. Finding that balance with others in finding understanding in
one another.
To further continue my life reflections, I was brought back to my roots - in an unexpected way - through
a short film a classmate and I produced this month which so happened to involve a large dance
component. Though I was behind the camera for this project, the pre-production
research had me revisiting my dance roots and the inspirations that made me
love the art so much. When it came to the actual production shoot, there was a
huge wave of nostalgia that hit me as soon as we were in the dance studio.
There is a smell and an atmosphere that can’t be replicated. Finding that
connection with the music again through movement reminded me why I loved it for so many years.
To close out the month I had the opportunity to go down to Rainbow Health Ontario, an organization specifically focused on LGBTQ health, for a potential film project regarding Bisexual health. Though I can't elaborate more at this time, the short experience helped me find peace again with who I am and this journey I've embarked on in the last four years.
As February comes to a close, it is an end to a month of
reflection and reconnection, but the beginning of a new month which brings with it
new goals to strive towards. Maybe it’s just the infinte number of hours I’ve sat
reviewing our short film titled “The End is the Beginning” but I’m really
feeling this cyclical notion that is life. When one thing ends, it opens doors
for another to begin. But also that doesn’t mean we can’t revisit things from
the past.
I am rebuilding relationships, I am refocusing my goals, and
I’m reconnecting with my self.
